Finding The Light

Dear Reader,

 

We all go through dark times in our lives.  Some people suffer alone and might think that there is no one else going through it because we are trained in society to not show our true feelings.  But imagine, if we could share our feelings freely without fear of judgement?  We may be able to help someone who would never feel safe to tell anyone, lest they be judged or rejected for not fitting in with the norm.

It takes great courage to face ourselves, it is very scary to take a deeper look into our own minds and much easier to simply pretend that our feelings do not exist.  The words and experiences that I share on this blog site are all my own.  Let me confess that the moment before I hit that button to publish my words, I feel small twinge of discomfort and I cringe inwardly because I am baring my soul in such an open way.  But, my desire to liberate myself and help others surpasses my fears.  And, it is extremely liberating.

Go on, give it a try…write a comment here or have a deep conversation with someone, connect with a stranger.  I know that I am not alone.  Sending lots of love and light to our world tonight. xx

 

Finding the Light

 

So much has happened,

Yet everything seems to be the same

It feels like my whole world has blackened,

And I do not know when I will find the light again

 

I am fumbling my way through the dark,

Waiting for this ride to end, so that I can finally disembark

How much longer will it take?

Before I once again start to wake

 

I feel lost and broken,

Feelings arising, of which my heart has never spoken

All the trauma lay trapped inside me for so many years,

Now the time has come to face my heartache and fears

 

Of course, I try to resist,

Prolonging my agony while these feelings persist

I rebel and fight with all my might,

To push away this darkest night

 

After all, who wants to feel like crap?

And to sit in this miserable trap

It would be so much easier to forget,

To re-bury all these feelings that are becoming a threat

 

If only I could make myself numb,

And pretend that I am ignorant and dumb

To what is trying to emerge,

To make me purge

To purge this misery and pain,

There is a reason that we bury it, so that we never have to feel it again!

I feel so hopeless and defeated,

And by the universe, I feel cheated

 

I feel angry and frustrated,

Where is the bliss for which I have long awaited?

I have forgotten that I made the commitment to myself to be healed,

And when times get tough, I lose my courage to face what is revealed

 

The path to healing is not smooth and easy,

Definitely not for the faint-hearted and queasy

Be prepared to stand naked in the blinding truth of who you are,

And to lovingly and wholly accept every scar

 

So much has happened,

Yet everything seems to be the same

It feels like my whole world has blackened,

But, I know that I will find the light again

 

A wise man reminded me that,

The darkest hour comes just before dawn

You are not alone, just hold on, hold on….

 

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