Finding Myself

Finding Myself
I am tired of this loop, I keep going around and around
My loneliness is so profound,
I sit here with my deep pain and sorrow
Praying that it will end when I wake up tomorrow,
I feels so unloved and broken
My feelings are left unspoken,
I am screaming and crying inside
There is nowhere left to run and hide,
How I wish that I felt worthy of others,
Perhaps then I would never feel abandoned by friends and lovers,
Maybe if I was a funnier, smarter being
Then I would not feel like I am a nothing,
I pray to the Divine
To please send me a sign,
I keep looking towards that closed door
Hoping that it would open once more,
I don’t see what lies before me
Because I struggle to accept what cannot be,
It feels like a heavy blow,
But it is not my heart, it is my ego
This deep longing, burning like fire
I mistake it for external desire,
And I search outside of myself to be accepted
Never getting the results expected,
Each perceived rejection
Takes me deeper into a feeling of dejection,
What is wrong with me?
Maybe I am too unlovable and ugly,

Message from Higher Self:
With time she starts to see more clearly
That she is the one who needs to hold herself so dearly,
To embrace all that she is with tenderness, kindness and unconditional love
She is fully supported from above ,
As she moves into this space of feeling
She begins the journey of incredible healing,
And as the masked, conditioned layers start to peel
She becomes more real,
All the lies she has told herself, she is purging
Her authentic self is emerging,
Flowers of hope are starting to bloom in her heart
Her light and her darkness need never be apart,
And one by one her shadows rise up from below
Just look at her power and beauty begin to glow…

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